oh what a night(s)

there's a lot of ground to cover (isn't there always?). so chronology is my friend...

xmas
this kind of sucked, but was in a way an effective precursor to nye, so in that respect was worthwhile. i was pms-ing like crazy, so i could have won the lottery, magically acquired helena christianson's body from 1990, been asked out on a date by ananda, married johnny depp and had the best haircut ever and i still would have been in a shitty mood, so i guess it's good that the shitty things that happened, happened at that time.

(i think this is actually in the 2010s, not even the 90s)

summed up, i was in the presence of yet not introduced by male conduit of relevant relationship to the (dun dun DUUUNNNN) ex-wife and son (he was suitably reprimanded), was not fawned over by khun mer and was accommodated in what i less-than-affectionately refer to as the 'stick room' (ie. a bungalow with no electricity or toilet.) NB at fucking CHRISTMAS i magically transform into a princess, so this was so not close to good enough for me that we left haad tien to go stay in a place called 'drop in club' which had a light, an actual bed and running (hot) water. 1000 per cent improvement.

xmas party@guys

the excuse bf gave for not introducing me to me v1.0 (the ex - note that i am the improved version) was that quite simplyhe froze, caveman style into the 'fright' status of the fright or flight phenomenon, apparently thanks in part to my pmsing and subsequent abject refusal to be anywhere in her vicinity during the yule time (the fact that she appeared the way a huntsman spider does, just there in the middle of the room - notice how you never actually see a spider walk into a room, it just always catches u by surprise?? - threw both of us.) luckily, i had the support of a few awesome people to whom i have already had the chance to ingratiate myself and i stayed in possession of face for the entire episode. calming doses of alcohol helped.



nye

well this was kind of excellent and the polar opposite of xmas. no see-sawing hormones, just friends, excellent food (my man can cook! - this was one of the stipulations i drew up for the perfect man when i was like 15 - deal maker), me serving drinks at the bar and earning a thousand bahts' worth of tips (for the bar), me giving a HOT handbag to khun mer and sucking up to her superhero style and her overcompensating for not making a huge deal out of me last time by cooking for me constantly and buying me mango sticky rice, total and utter acceptance and hyperactive love from offspring who even wanted to sleep in my bed (ATTENTION PARENTS: if you have a child from a 'broken' family who does not get to see their mama and papa a lot and spends most of their life with their g'parents, they will want to sleep in a bed with the first person they feel will be receptive to this. this will happen for the rest of heir lives - i know, i've been there!)

Long story short, 7yo toothless wonder child did sleep with me but i was unconscious after passing out from a massive nye celebration that included pcf's bf blowing half his finger off in a fireworks incident, amongst other excitements and traumas, and he stayed only 5 minutes because apparently while unconscious and nonreactive, i am boring. as a further aside, my mama spent every living moment with me possible when she could, so i do not understand why this amazing boy is not completely smothered at all times by either or both parents, who are both able-bodied, certainly not overworked, and not limited in any way by custody. seriously, why don't they spend more time with him?/end judgmental beady-eyed aspersion-casting.

what else at nye? lots of wine, lots of hammocks, i worked for my bf a lot in his restaurant and bar, then on the 2nd we fled to another part of the island to be telephonically harassed by our respective workplaces the entire 3 days we were apart from them.

still, we had an excellent time. riding around on a scooter, chilled vibes, beers, waterfront hippie bars, meeting up his family and my friends, two flat tyres in one night, baguettes from chicken corner, the heart/gut-wrenching farewell at the pier at 5pm when seatran takes me on my first leg back to bkk and i try not to wear out my bb battery. got my new ipod though, so that's some something.



summed up, nye makes me ant to go directly to island, not passing go or collecting two hundred dollars. crazy though it seems, actually what's so crazy about chasing a dream? that you might lose it, or that you might actually attain it? pcf and i are starting a plan because we want to work on our dreams, not someone else's. it will take time, but it will be worth it. the island is just there waiting, there is no reason to keep telling ourselves it's not possible.

tonight
saturday night, started out normal, was dragged into the gay soi by some friends. was poured super strong drinks by someone a friend liked. the friend wanted to meet up later and i was like 'ok, im going to my friend's house, but whatever, come with (under the impression he was gay - he wasn't). oh, also he was quite strong and when i met him on the street on the way to my friend's house he kind of was not taking no for an answer in an extremely invasive and alarming way.

i was in a relationship with a trained killer (or excellent liar - or combination of both) for 3 years but do i retain anything he told me about getting out of such situations? nope. i remember one thing my grandfather taught me. if you want to remove someone's hands from somewhere, pull back their thumbs. it works. being cautious and not meeting strangers in dark alleys to go to parties also works, apparently. i didn't end up going to that particular party, i ran (or walked swiftly at any rate) back to my condo and locked all the doors and blogged. so obvioulsy i'm safe as houses now.

more later, so many more funny and great things that happened over the last few weeks (not even including justice running away just then and being immediately found - complete with 'feel sorry for me' limp). tomorrow i pledge to annotate more if i can a)wake up b) get off the couch) and c) not watch the rest of rabbit hole which was already making me weepy after like 3 seconds of viewing.

now to sleep perchance to dream. or just perchance not to feel tired tomorrow as it's already past dawn.

time to learn kyo kushin, the most vicious of the martial arts. for potential future meetings with faux gay creeps, ex-wives and pms.

ta-ta